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Rating: 
Amazon Price: £3.99 (as of April 24, 2018 7:49 am – Details). Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on the Amazon site at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.

Also available on amazon.com for £3.99 (as of April 8, 2018 1:09 am – Details). Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on the Amazon site at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.

Jenny Blackhurst's debut psychological thriller and #1 Kindle bestseller HOW I LOST YOU was described by Clare Mackintosh as 'utterly gripping'. If you love Louise Jensen's THE SISTER or Tracy Buchanan's NO TURNING BACK you will love this.

My name is Emma Cartwright. Three years ago I was Susan Webster, and I murdered my twelve-week-old son Dylan.

I have no memory of what happened but you believe what your loved ones, your doctor and the police are telling you, don't you?

But if you can't remember what happened, how can you be sure that they are telling the truth?

And if there was the smallest chance your son was alive, wouldn't you do anything to get him back?
If there was the smallest chance your son was alive, what would you do to get him back?

A fantastic debut from an outstanding talent.

Product Details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1281 KB
  • Print Length: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Headline (9 Oct. 2014)
  • Sold by:  Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00KM19Y40
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Enabled
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled

Customer Reviews

Once you start reading it, you cannot stop

 on 14 March 2017
By JR_82
I found this a crazy, brilliant thriller, probably one of the best I recently happened to read.

A thriller with an interesting idea with an exciting host of characters that didn’t quite deliver.

One person found this helpful.
 on 2 June 2015
By Lizzy from My Little Book Blog
So, firstly don’t be worried that the book takes on a miserable subject line because it’s instead punchy, thrilling, finger biting, edge of your seat type writing that leaves no prisoners. The plot revolves around Susan Webster and I found her utterly compelling; she is blunt and bright and then suddenly utterly distraught, maternal and warm. Throughout her personality changes at the touch of a button and I personally thought that was very evocative of the plotline as a whole. From the beginning we are introduced to the idea that our main character has suffered from post-natal depression however our main character has no recollection of the crime whatsoever. This immediately sparked my imagination and my mind was saying what, why, how? It’s so important to get the reader invested and this really helped to stir my curiosity. What also continued this interest were the flashbacks to the late eighties which explores the friendships of a group of upper class teenage boys; boyish and excitable their raucous activities do not become prevalent until a lot later on in the book. I think what was equally really important was that the book continues to play on the mystery of did she, didn’t she all the way through. The clues that are given to us as a reader never quite distinguish what has or hasn’t happened and that helped to sustain me as a reader and pull me further into the book as a whole.
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